gold dust woman

Update

2005-10-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

Developments:

I now have not one job - but two! Both cleaning, but it's enough to keep me busy and get me a little extra cash.
My birthday came and went. I got a bass from Matt (which I'm still not that good at) and that's all I can recall - so it must have been very eventful...
I'm slowly getting better at reading Tarot.
I'm spending a little less time on this damn thing wishing that I had something to do.
Polly has bitten me. Twice. The bitch.
Poland is fast approaching.
The Sims 2: Nightlife is bloody ace.

Starting Again...?

2005-09-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

Due to my boredom (read: lack of life) today, I've been reading truckloads of blogs and it's made me realise how goddamn boring my own is.

I've managed a few interesting entries, but most are just ... blah. So it's time for REVOLUTION, folks! Either I get good at the ol' blogging or (dum dum dummmm) I don't blog at all.

Ahh! But don't weep for me, invisible masses!

I will make an attempt. I really will. I promise. I double promise. I quadruple promise over and over with cream on top and cherries and Dale Winton and yespleaseloveme!readmyblog!feedmyego!

Here goes.

Lackage

2005-09-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I suck. But I have been doing stuff over at the other blog, so don't bitch.

I've just made some mint tea and it is beautiful.

Charlotte is coming to stay at mine this weekend and we're going over to Worcester as well - so that should be fun!

...

...

... I'm lacking a bit in the ol' blogging inspiration at the moment. Forgive me, non-reader.

Back-attack

2005-09-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

And I'm back.

And a teeny bit tanned.

It was a great holiday; full of food, sun, sea, fits of giggles and a couple of bowls full of puke. Nice.

Tomorrow - or later this evening - I will post pictures. But at the moment I need to start blogging over at the ranty/feminist blog.

Holiday In Majorca.

2005-09-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I am off to Majorca now (or Mallorca... whichever one it is).

Back in a week's time. ByeBye blog.

America and Katrina

2005-09-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

The Hurricane has just completely highlighted America's total and utter incompetence. Blowing up countries? Now, that is what the good ol' US of A is best at. But maintaining the well being of all its own people? Hmm. Oh well, it's mainly only black people anyway - huh, Bush?

Makes me sick.

America can wrap all its problems up in the Star Spangled Banner as much as they want, but the problem remains. A gust of wind, and it's weaknesses are exposed for all the world to see.

Whatever happened to caring for "your tired, your poor, your huddled masses"...?

Damn You to Hell and Back

2005-09-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Gah.

I just typed out a post and the BUGGERS froze my computer and killed it all. Amen. Goodnight.

Crap Magazines

2005-08-31T18:06:00.000-07:00

You know what pisses me off?

The total lack of intelligent magazines for women available in the UK.

All of the monthlies/bi-monthlies/weeklies/crapplies look the same. Shit. Total and utter shit. And, god knows, if any one of these magzines were to print the word 'feminist' even in teeny tiny lettering, they would probably spontaneously combust in a massive fiery hell. Or that must be what the editors think, at least.

In the US you can buy Bitch, Bust or Ms magazines, yet NOTHING in the UK. Christ, even America is doing better than us here.

I'm getting fed up. I want to read a magazine. I want to be able to flick through a few glossy pages every now and then and read funny, interesting, insightful articles about issues that matter to me. Looks like I will just have to order them from America and spend a bomb in the process.

It's All Change

2005-08-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well, Matt is currently completing the process of moving out. My little boy is growing up, etc etc blah blah.

It looks as though I am going to Poland at the end of November with Charlotte! I'm so excited, if a little scared. It's not like me to be so adventurous, so... risk-taking. But I'm fed up of being the sensible one; the one with a the facts and theories, but not a lot of experiences to back them up. I think this could be so good for me.

Childhood.

2005-08-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

I've just been searching through the piles of old childhood memorabilia on top of one of the cupboards. I found the item I was after (a book of my poetry from Year Six), but one or two other pieces sparked my curiosity.

I found a bag full of baby memories. Included in the paraphenalia from maternity wards, was a diary of mom's from 1984. Supposedly, I imagine, it was given to her by some well-meaning relative to describe the ongoing progress of her first pregnancy, with my brother. But, my mother being my mother, it is not particularly detailed nor filled in that often, but the one or two notes that she had included just jumped out of the page at me.

"Can feel definite kicks now. And other people can feel them too when they put their hand on my lump!"

"Doctor says I'm getting too fat!"

"Baby due today!! Hooray!"

At the time, my mom was 22 years old. That's just three years older than I am now. And the "kicks" and the "lumnp" belonged to that of my brother, who is 20 in a couple of weeks time.

And then, I found a card addressed to "Stephan and Eleanor" on the date of Rachael's birth in 1989. It was from my nan, informing us to "look after your new little sister" and naming us "The Three Little Terrors".

It made me cry.

I don't remember growing up.

I recall, very clearly, my childhood. I can smell my Beauty and the Beast pyjamas, the dingy, 'play dough' smell of the lego box, the dark inside of the wardrobe that I curled up into a ball in whilst playing Hide and Seek... I can taste the familarity of my left thumb being sucked in my mouth, the disgusting cod liver oil capsules we were forced to take, the delicious soggy bread floating in a bowl of tomato soup... I can hear my mom's Simply Red LP playing downstairs, the clanging of plates followed by a shrill "Dinner's ready!", the sound of broken plastic crashing about as the toy box is tipped over... And, when I close my eyes and wish hard, I can see my mom's dropped jaw when she see the mess we made playing 'tents', the cheap wrapping paper glistening like fake gold on Christmas Day morning, the downstairs light kept on throughout the night like a beacon guiding to the bathroom...

And then, one day, I woke up and I thought "This house is such a mess ... I need to clean the toilet ... I don't have the money to go out tonight ... I will cook dinner for my boyfriend ... I need to get a job ... My future is here".

There is now a world beyond the front gate. But how easy it would be to stay within the safety of these walls! These walls that have kept me warm, content, innocent, naive, a fool.

I would be a fool to remain here.

Tickle.

2005-08-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I was so bored that I made this www.myspace.com/kendodd.

Sniff.

2005-08-26T23:46:00.000-07:00

I'm bored.
And ill.
Bored and ill = not a good combination.

Move it

2005-08-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

Well. We saw Mark.

It was a bit of an anti-climax really. We waited about forty minutes for him to come out (yes, my life is empty) and then when he did he looked quite shy and unassuming really. And I felt quite awkward and foolish for being part of a chearing crowd.

The notion of celebrity certainly is a strange one.

I just rang up Oakengates library to see if they have any vacancies. Yes! You read correctly! I made an productive step towards getting a job! They didn't have any, but - to be honest - that is almost besides the point. I made progress. I've decided I could quite like doing something like that. There'd be plenty to do, but it wouldn't be too busy and hopefully not many ignorant dickfaces about.

I need to just MAKE THAT MOVE. Once the initial steps are underway it will be a piece of piss.

Do What You Liiiike

2005-08-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

In CelebWorld, Telford is an insignificant place.

We cling on to our only claim to fame being T'Pau (yeah, the link says they are from Shrews, but that is a big fat lie), but they haven't had a hit since the 80s (and, admittedly, they only really had one hit anyway). And, yeah yeah, Charles Darwin came from Shrewsbury, but that's Shrewsbury and not glorious Telford. And, okay, Terry Duckworth from Corrie did panto at Oakenagates one year too.

But that is it.

Oh, but Telford's reputation of being the Kwik Save of Celeb-Spotting Sites will be dead by this time next week! As, a SUPASTAR is opening the new HMV in town...

MARK OWEN.

Yes, quite frankly, I am pissing my pants in excitment also. Imagine it! Everyone's favourite floppy-haired, pint-sized, wouldn't-say-boo-to-a-goose Manc right here, in Telford! I hope he will offer a rendition of 'Babe', or even 'Clemantine - eee ine eee inn ee innnnne!" from the less succesful 'Mark Owen: The Solo Years'.

What a freakin' stud.

I never did get a Mark doll for Christmas. Sniff.

Hurrah.

2005-08-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

So, I got my results.

*drum roll please*

...
...
...

English Lit : A
Film Studies: A
Media : B

I am so happy. All that worry over nothing. Although, if I had just re-taken one exam from the first paper then I could have had AAA, but oh well. It'll do!

Sadly, though, I'm having to stay in tonight instead of go and celebrate. Which stinks a bit, quite frankly, but I'm going for a meal tomorrow - so that's okay.

Not tomorrow

2005-08-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

A Level results tomorrow.

I choose not to think about it.

I'm off to Tesco shortly to help Matt buy bedding. Yes, non-stop thrills.

Sat

2005-08-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today has been mostly spent playing the Sims 2 and re-arranging Rachael's bedroom. It looks much better in there now - as if it's actualy inhabited by a human being.

Yesterday I finished Brave New World and sat outside on the grass reading.

Films (Not that anyone reads this, but if you do - then there are 'A Beautiful Mind' spoilers ahead)

2005-08-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

I need to stop reading the 'opinions' on the IMDB message boards.

Last night, me and Matt watched A Beautiful Mind and it was fantastic. The film twisted and turned, and held onto my attention from start to finish. And, who would have thought that Riche Cunningham could create such a fantastic piece of film-mkaing? The atmosphere re-created pefectly the chaos within Nash's mind, so much that the question of reality vs. dillusion did became more and more impossible to answer.

But- you know - it won a Best Picture Oscar, so that must mean it is corporate Hollywood shit, right? No, not always. Although, I do agree that the Oscars are most likely rigged and are, essentially, a sexist and racist instition, but it does appears that in 2002 they got it right. Much, to my delight also, as there is a certain satisfaction in wiping off the grins of all those Lord Of The Rings geeks (tried extensively to find a link demonstrating the average LOTR fan's intelligence - and there are plenty of examples out there - but, jesus christ, opening that corner of the interenet is a scary, scary experience full of Aragorn/Ron Weasely porn fiction, guides for hunting orc and people who actually believe it is all true. I am frightened.). LOTR is below average - slightly entertaining, I suppose - but it is just NOT great film-making. It is mediocre at best. Cringey dialogue (okay, that's the novel - but still), one-dimensional characters, hollow acting, stereotypical direction, tedious action scenes... I am not a fan, as you can tell. Everytime I hear someone proclaim the trilogy as the greatest films ever made, I feel a little bit ill inside. It may be a nice, overblown, epic story and all - but that does NOT make it a fantastic film.

Anyway, enough with the hobbit bashing...

A Beautiful Mind was just excellent. If I was an optimistic woman then I may say that it has restored a little of my faith in Hollywood, but that - my friends - would be lying.

Pointless Entry.

2005-08-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

As promised:

And, you know, 'cos the back of my head is pretty important:

A Level results next Thursday. Ohmigoodlordavis, etc, etc. And so forth.

Gifts: 'cos they all love me

2005-08-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

Mother bought me a new MP3 player today, just because my old one had broke. Hah, I love my mom and her new-found richness.

Mary Louise has also made me a lovely bag. It's very sweet and I'm just going to add a few things and then perhaps post a picture. It actually makes me a little fuzzy inside that she would think to make me somthing.

Not much else to report on today, it would seem.

I'm strangely looking forward to Saturday night. I've got this feeling it's going to be very eventful. I just hope that Danni enjoys herself also.

Test

2005-08-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

Trait	.	low score	high score
Sociability	13%	socially reserved, detached	friendly, open
Aggressiveness	64%	mild mannered, uncompetitive	predatory, domineering
Assertiveness	60%	introverted, loner	controlling, aggressive
Activity Level	2%	relaxed, laid back	vigorous, high energy
Excitement-Seeking	37%	sedate, restrained	adventurous, wild
Enthusiasm	21%	somber, pessimistic	cheerful, optimistic
Trust	32%	suspicious of others	trusting of others
Submissiveness	58%	rebellious, lawless	dutiful, obedient, compliant
Altruism	22%	selfish, cold, austere	helpful, selfless, indulgent
Cooperation	7%	argumentitive, confrontational	conflict averse, meek
Modesty	16%	arrogant, self-satisfied	humble, unassuming, doormat
Sympathy	59%	callous, heartless	empathetic, warm
Confidence	79%	not confident in work	confident in work, egoistic
Neatness	68%	disorganized, messy	planner, clean, anal
Dutifulness	56%	dishonest, derelict	honest, rule abiding, proper
Achievement	16%	lazy, unmotivated	driven, goal oriented
Self-Discipline	29%	procrastinator	responsible, efficient
Cautiousness	80%	spontaneous, daring, reckless	careful, controlled, safe
Anxiety	75%	relaxed, fearless	fearful, worrier
Volatility	74%	calm, cool	touchy, tempermental
Depression	35%	content, balanced	emotional, self hating
Self-Consciousness	82%	confident, assured	low self esteem, shy
Impulsiveness	8%	high self control	low self control
Vulnerability	54%	resilient, unphased	confused, helpless
Imagination	79%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Artistic Interests	90%	artistic indifference	art, nature, beauty lover
Introspection	87%	not self reflective	self searching
Adventurousness	20%	conventional, safe	spontaneous, bold
Intellect	84%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Liberalism	94%	conservative, traditional	progressive, open

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Crazy

2005-08-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I don't understand my I make everything so difficult.
I wish for some sort of powerful intervention, even if it really hurts.

This is the place
You'll end up when
You lose the chase
Where you’re dragged against your will
From a basement on the hill
And all anybody knows is
You're not like them
And they kick you in the head
And send you back to bed
Isolation pulled you past a tunnel to a bright
world where you can make a place to stay
But everybody is scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
The mayor’s name is fear
His voice patrols the pier
From a mountain of cliché
That advances everyday
The doctor spoke a cloud
He rained out loud
You'll keep your doors and windows shut
And swear you'll never show a soul again
But isolation pushes you ‘til every muscle aches
Down the only road it ever takes
But everybody is scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
If it's your decision
To be open about yourself
Be careful or else
Be careful or else
Uncomfortable apart
It's all written on my chart
And I take whats given me
Most cooperatively
I do what people say
And lie in bed all day
Absolutely horrified
I hope you're satisfied
Isolation pushes past self-hatred, guilt and shame
To a place where suffering's just a game
But everybody is scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
Your little house on memory lane

Red Ken

2005-08-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

I can never quite make up my mind about Ken Livingston, but, in my eyes, the following statement has certainly earned him a few points:

I think you've just had 80 years of western intervention into predominantly Arab lands because of the western need for oil.

We've propped up unsavoury governments, we've overthrown ones we didn't consider sympathetic.

And I think the particular problem we have at the moment is that in the 1980s ... the Americans recruited and trained Osama Bin Laden, taught him how to kill, to make bombs, and set him off to kill the Russians and drive them out of Afghanistan.

They didn't give any thought to the fact that once he'd done that he might turn on his creators.

A lot of young people see the double standards, they see what happens in Guantanamo Bay, and they just think that there isn't a just foreign policy.

Hate

2005-08-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I really hate men and their dicks.

Sometimes, I really hate women with their tits.

I just hate everybody, I think.

Sunday Morning, ba ba bababa baba

2005-08-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

Oh no. This is the second weekend in a row that I have sat watching Sunday morning BBC1. I feel more and more as though I am falling into the elderly demographic.

I need money! It's funny how, when I had all that money in the Money Box, I never felt the urge to spend it, but now that I have none I'm thinking of all these things I want to buy. Grrrr, cursed irony.

Continuing from yesterday's post : how about a sexual therapist? Now, that I think I could do. Give it a few years and I reckon I would have enough knowledge and empathy regarding the subject matter. Plus, that way I could be helping women as well. We shall see.

Dubidoobidoo

2005-08-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Hurrah. Lazy days sitting around half naked are the bests days.

Me and Matt went to Blockbusters to rent a DVD last night, but ended up buying six videos for £6 altogether instead. Not too shabsome. I picked up Down With Love, Far From Heaven and a Shooting Stars video. Hopefully I'll watch one tonight (although, odds are that I will sit here on the internet instead. Hmmph)

Sometimes, I think I would like to be a therapist of some sort. I don't know how, but I seem to have developed an ability to know people very well and understand their reasons for doing things. Shame I lack so much in the sympathy department. Oh well, another career plan down the chute!

Back

2005-08-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, Okay - I've been a bit crap on the whole blogging front lately. Rest assured, oh non-readers, I am back and ready for action

Animal Lady

2005-08-01T19:20:00.000-07:00

Me and Ray just went to feed next-door's birds while they are away on holiday.

This guy's name is George and he rocks.

And this lady doesn't actually have a name that we are aware of, but is very dumb.

I am still getting over why somebody would have a chicken and cockeral in the middle of Donnington, but I suppose stranger things have happened.

CHICKEN FACT!
there are 24 billion chickens in the
world. now THAT's a fact!

I've been having a day of rabbit-bonding with Polly today. She is seriously going to get fat if I don't play with her more, and she seems to get bored playing alone. I didn't think having a rabbit could actually be this much work. Well, it's not exactly work, but it's not as easy as you would think. That is, if you want to actually raise a happy bunny.

Lost Times

2005-07-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

It was almost a lazy day today, but I semi-rearranged my room so I did do something.

I'm being picked up for the cinema in about 10 minutes, so really I should be eating my dinner and sorting myself out, not blogging. But oh well.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory though! Hurrah. I have been waiting for this ever since the project was first announced (actually, probably about five years ago now). I'm hoping it is ace-as-base, and I already have it on authority that it is quite snazztacular.

Saying words like 'snazztacular', really makes me think of Liz. I miss her sometimes. I wish we hadn't drifted apart like we had, because we had some such fun times together. It's a shame, but too late to rekindle the friendship now. She's off to Uni in September and it would have been too awkward anyway.

I hope that however her life is now, she is happy. But, to be honest, I believe she is probably just as lonely as I am.

Holiday In Scotland

2005-07-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well, after a week's absence, I have returned from Eyemouth in lovely Scotland (not that anybody reads this to even notice I'm gone, anyway *sniff*).

I successfully managed to spend ALL of the money I had been saving in my box for the past six months, and I'm glad that I did. Overall, the holiday was great; loads to do, lots bought and tonnes of memories made. The cottage itself was lovely and we just did not want to leave.

On one of the first few days, we visited Banburgh Castle which was just stunning.
The castle itself was full of beautiful antiques and bits-and-bobbery - all the traditional castle stuff like suits of armour, paintings, swords, etc that never seemed to have been in any of the previous castles I've visited.
On the same day we went over to Lindisfarne, which is a tidal island connected to the mainland by a causeway. Twice a day it's cut off by the tide, forming it into a completely solitary island. Anyway, that was nice to walk around, even though it cost £3.60 to walk around a crappy little church ruin... (which, needless to say, we did not pay)

Matt and I successfully managed to not get on each other's tits throughout the week. Good news, of course. He even finally bought me the Random Gift that I had been complaining about for so long.
On another day we headed down to a Honey Farm (curse you, Pot-a-Doodle-Doo!) which was surprisingly great fun. They had a Cafe-Bus. A CAFE-BUS, people. As well as a 'vintage vehicle museum', which - to be honest - just really consisted of some old cars and junk in somebody's back yard, but that doesn't mean to say it still wasn't fun.

We especially enjoyed the double-decker London bus. For some reason, it was amazingly exciting to go inside it, even though getting the number 33 Arriva bus to Telford Town Centre is hardly the same mind-boggingly joyous experience.
On the next day we went to Edinburgh, which was my highlight of the entire holiday. We paid a visit to the Dungeon, which was insane and fun and did a little shopping. It then started to rain rain rain and me and Matt had to basically run through the streets of Edinburgh chasing a bus (me and flip flops - of course, never in prepared attire).

All in all, it was a great week. Add in random memories of Cliff Richard, Big Davey Bop, rabbits, the Fat Man, boom bats, etc - and there it all is.

WikiWiki

2005-07-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

I just love Wikipedia . I love that it includes information on pretty much everything I could ever think of. I love that it fills my boring days. I love that it gives me new fascinating facts to bore people with.

Today, I have learnt:

That 'Lost In Space' jumped the shark when aliens started arriving on pirate ships and in travelling circuses.
Erinsborough, the fictional town in 'Neighbours', is a pseudo-anagram of the show's title.
'Moomins' were trolls, not hippos.
'Kilroy was here' still confuses me.
Some people belive that JD Salinger's novel 'The Catcher In The Rye' is actually a mind control tool used by the CIA and FBI.

Snap-Not-So-Happy

2005-07-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

My camera is so unreliable, I don't even know if I will take it to Scotland with me. Well, I retract that, I probably will take it but as well as a backup throwaway one too. The quality I can live with, but the thing that most pisses me off is the fact that it doesn't photograph what I see in the viewfinder - it seems to cut most off. Perhaps it is my eyes or the fact that it is simply a cheap pile of crap, but it is quite inconvenient.

Not so great if I plan on capturing Nessie, then.

Here are some that managed to come out not-too-bad today:

Good ol' Polly striking her usual rabbitesque pose.

The obligatory flower shot.

He loves it.

Finally, Moggie and my feet. Oh yes. You want us.

Baby Beluga

2005-07-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night about beluga whales and now I just love them.

Stephano is here today with his new car. Oh how they grow.

Swiss Family Robinson - it ain't right

2005-07-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Disney's 1960 family 'frolic' Swiss Family Robinson on BBC1 and the political incorrectness of it all is disturbing me.

Blah blah blah, deserted island, shipwrecked, pirates, riding ostriches, etc - you get the jist (Oh god. The animal cruelty. A monkey riding a rotweiller. A rotweiller. Also the aforementioned ostrich riding, plus many more cruel scenes that would have no doubt been hilarious, gosh darn it, in 1960 but just not so now. Walt, it's just not right.)

But my main problem is the sexual tension between two of the Robinson brothers and a girl. Now, I am just guessing at the ages of the brothers but I reckon the youngest is supposedly sixteen and the oldest perhaps in his early twenties. On their way to New Guinea, the poor horny lads discuss whether or not they will meet any girls their own ages at their destination. And, nudge-nudge wink-wink, they exclaim in a fit of laughter that "By the time we get there we won't care HOW old they are!!" Ho ho ho, those young lads and there willingness to defile females from 3 to 93, sure is wholesome and sweet, Mr Disney!

Then, as luck would have it, they do stumble across a girl who is dressed as a boy in order to fool the pirates (girls, be ashamed of you genitalia!) and - ooh - the tension mounts (cue distasteful jokes regarding erect tent poles). My problem here is that the girl is fourteen. Now, I know it was the 'olden days' and all, but still - that's no excuse for that creepy boyish scuffle-cum-pseudo rape scene (no pun intended, yeech).

And don't tell me that I'm looking too far into it, as I've just read that the younger brother was subsequently fired by Disney for being gay. Mmmmhmmm. No doubt creepy scenes with a fourteen year old girl dressed as a boy contributed to that.

Oh, and Swiss? Swiss my arse. Half are Brits and half are Yanks, but there is not a Swiss in sight.

And now the formally childish fourteen year old girl has magically sprouted a rack and is sporting a just lovely corsetted dress. Oh, and she's getting it on with the 20-odd year old brother.

Get your hand off her arse, you dirty old man.

Peggy Sue

2005-07-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

I've made a peg bag.

Yes, it's really getting that desperate now.

To Me, To You

2005-07-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

God, they really do put some fantastic crap on CBBC. But, when I think back, it's always been that stupid - and so stupid that it is in fact quite entertaining.
After all, CBBC did bring us the Chuckle Brothers:

It's been another boring day here (hence the desperate attempt at content in the form of the Chuckle Brothers) and I've pretty much just watched daytime television. Oh, there are some hidden gems out there, some hidden gems...

Oh, wow, the Newsround presenter has the same name as me. Well, good lord that is just thrilling.

*sigh*

I'm in total need of a life-shaped thing here.

No Soundage

2005-07-14T23:10:00.000-07:00

I finally resorted to having my computer fixed, hence the blogger absence of late. No more crashing, no more having to leave it on overnight and an extra hard drive too. The only problem being that the soundcard doesn't seem to want to be working at the moment. Bugger.

It is just far too hot at the moment.

Oh GOOD GOD. The silence is killing me. I NEED to fix the sound on this thing, else I am going to go insane.

Bodies Bodies

2005-07-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I feel as though I could proclaim myself to be a self-assured/feminist/strong-minded/individual woman until the cows come home, yet still those teeny weeny insecurities would be whispering themselves into my head. I do not feel I am as insecure as most, especially as the average 18 year old girl, but still at times I look in the mirror and think oh, I just wish I didn't have such a blah blah of a blah blah or am I the only person who hates their blah blah so much?.

So, introducing, Ms Violet's Self-Pitying List Of Problems With Her Body:

I have problems with my eyebrows. I look at all these perfect eyebrows, and I can't help feel that I more resemble a certain Muppet. Okay, well I don't exactly have a monobrow, but they do seem bushier than most.
According to my BMI, I am very slightly underweight. Fatties feel it is appropriate to bitch me about this as, according to them, skinny people are emotionless robots who no doubt have no feelings. Piss off.
I have ugly feet. My toes are unnaturally long and hairy, and at times I can definitely see bunions rearing their ugly heads. Thanks for those buggers, mother dear.
I have a big ol' broken nose, which makes me feel ill as a bill when I see photographs of my side profile.
My posture is terrible. I always seem to be lurching over myself like some goddamn crooked old lady and, apparently, this has also caused me to gain a double chin.
I'm pale. And it ain't mysterious, buddy.
My boobs are too big for the rest of my tiny frame. And I worry that in the future I will have some ugly, saggy, old-lady breasts.

Well, I'm sure I've painted a pretty as hell picture of myself there (note to self: do NOT type "ugly woman" into Google Image Search. Good lord, there are some less-than-blessed folk out there). Actually, to be honest, I'm not that bad.

So now, introducing, Ms Violet's Self-Praising List Of Great Things About Her Body:

Who wants ugly drawn-on eyebrows, anyway? Brooke Shields, Audrey Hepburn, etc all have individual looking brows that add to their beauty. All I have to do is shape them a little and hey - even Bert could look sexy with a little plucking.
So, I'm a couple of pounds underweight - big bleedin' deal. I eat well and I've grown to love my tiny waist. In fact, I've noticed that I'm finally growing some womanly hips, which make me look slightly less stick-esque. And, you know, at least I'm not fat.
Nobody looks at my feet anyway and they are a nice size and it'll be years until my bunion starts to really grow anyway.
Okay, so my nose is broken and there's not a lot I can do it. So, I will embrace it; it gives me character and an interesting story to tell (sister whacked me on the nose with a magnifying glass when I was about 11. See. Told you it was interesting.)
I can change my posture as it's just a matter of getting into the habit of standing properly. But, like, you know, I just can't be arsed right now.
I can always tan, if I hate my pale skin so much. But, when I think about it, pale skin really can be beautiful.
Damn it girl, you have nice big boobs! I can't really complain, when I think about it. There are women out there that would die (or pay a lot of money) for 34D breasts on a slim body like mine. And you know what? I like how they look in little tops. There - I said it.

So, it's not all bad. After all, I could be fat.

One Bloody Eye

2005-07-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I found a one-eyed frog in the garden.

Our seemingly crappy little pond has turned out to be quite the ecosystem of late and so I was frog-watching, when this little guy sitting on a lily pad caught my attention. Now usually when I find a frog they tend to jump away when I get closer or inadvertedly make a noise or movement, but this froggie-woggie just stayed still. So, I got a bit closer to investigate, when I saw that - by golly, Miss Molly - he only had ONE eye!

For some reason, this absolutely fascinated me and I proceeded to snap away with my famously shite camera (no flash! peh!).
Sadly, the photos did not quite capture my bizarre disabled buddy in his full glory, but this is the best I could do:

Then, when researching one-eyed frogs (good god, I need to get out more), I discovered that the story of another similarly cyclopian frog had made the news in Wisconsin in 2003.

Oh, imagine the media frenzy if I, too, were to call the local newspapers about my special find! The money! The glory! The revenue from froggie's own bloody annoying ring tone! But, luckily, I respect the privacy of my mono-eyed chum far too much to take advantage in such a manner. But oh! Imagine the fame...

NB: Ms. Violet is slowly losing her mind. She needs friends, hobbies, to get out more and to stay away from deformed amphibians.

London.

2005-07-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm still shocked by the news today. I think there's always been this unspoken feeling that it just wouldn't happen in the UK, but now terrorists have finally attacked us too.

My initial feeling was anger that the G8 Summit would be completely ruined and that all the efforts - the protests, Live 8 events, etc - would have been wasted, but it appears that Blair is trying his hardest to make ensure that these events do not affect the meeting. But it seems a bit late for that now.

My computer has been messing me about today and not loading, which has been most frustrating as I have had to rely on television news as opposed to the internet. Thank God for the beeb though.

Domestic Goddess

2005-07-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

Oh no. Yesterday I missed an entry in this blog for the first time so far. Now I feel as though I am already slacking.

Today I have been cleaning and picking strawberries amd collecting lavender and other cute domestic chores. I've been getting a bit lazy over these past couple of weeks (even more so than usual, if that's even possible), and so I need to get back to keeping this house relatively tidy.

I really want this, as it is too cool for words. I will probably end up with something much less flashy though. Christmas maybe though... Oh, mother dear...

And, while I'm on the subject of lovely eBay, I've just found this gorgeous picture. Not a bad price either.

Aminata Palmer

2005-07-04T20:28:00.000-07:00

What an absolutely beautiful child, and only 11 years old. I must admit, I did cry after watching that video.

It's inspiring that even those surrounded by the most horrendous conditions on Earth, can be the most profound, compassionate and intelligent people.

I just sincerly, sincerly hope that something will be done at the G8 summit to help little girls like her. Capitalism has caused so much greed and horror on this planet, that it is about time that something was given back.

Ghost From A Wishing Well

2005-07-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

Matt and I stayed over at mom's this weekend to help Stephan clean the loft above the garage. We didn't really do that much work on it and - to be honest - I think he only wanted us to help since he is scared of spiders. The arachnophobe gene in our family must have just skipped me, as it seems I am the only one who isn't bothered by them whatsoever.

Hopefully I'll be going down again next weekend, as a Druid priest is coming to visit and mom has asked if I'd like to meet him. The last time I met a priest of this particular variety was a fairly surreal moment to say the least, so it goes without saying that I am quite looking forward to this encounter.

Thank god for my mom reminding me that interesting people are out there and are accesible. Sometimes it seems as though I will be stuck in The Town Of Clones forever. I'm so glad I have a mother who is not a frustrated old housewife, stuck at home and taking her own annoyances out on those around her. There are far too many of them about and - frankly - they are boring as hell. Nobody forces you to stay at home once your children have grown up, so there is really no excuse for it. Blah.

I think I need to start writing more. Today, mom described me to someone as a "poetess" and I instantly felt quite guilty and undeserving of such a title. I haven't even thought about writing anything in ages, never mind actually constructing a halfway decent poem. Perhaps it is writer's block... or perhaps laziness. More likely the latter - isn't it always? I need to get back into it because I do worry that a lack of formal education is going to make my brain stagnate. So I need to write write write. But... what? I know that if I put a pen in my hand and sit down then no inspiration will come to me, so why bother? Or am I being defeatist again?

Marriage Is Unnatural

2005-07-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

You scored as alternative. You're partially respected for being an individual in a conformist world yet others take you as a radical. You have no place in society because you choose not to belong there - you're the luckiest of them all, even if your parents are completely ashamed of you. Just don't take drugs ok?

alternative

83%

Middle Class

63%

Lower Class

50%

Upper middle Class

50%

Luxurious Upper Class

13%

What Social Status are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

And if a quiz says it's true then it just must be.

I'm going to mom's tomorrow, albeit alone and on the train. It's a bugger, but thae way it is.

Thanks For Ruining My Poo, Beyonce

2005-06-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

Bloody-pissing-crapping-shitting-bastard-music-of-today.

I was just perched on the toilet, trying my upmost to deliver a nice poop, when from from the living room a stupid wailing bitch warbles, "I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert, and so much more. Anything you want - just let me cater to you".

What. The. Hell.

Fat Beyonce and friends have seemingly chucked away their notions of pseudo-feminism in the forms of songs like Independent Woman and Survivor, and instead have decided that man-worshipping, women-hating trash is the next fashionable bandwagan they are going to jump on.

The lyrics for 'Cater 2 U make me feel physically sick. There are simply no words to describe.

Just know this, Beyonce friggin' Knowles : I secretly hope one of your animal fur scarves comes back to life and strangles you in your sleep. Bitch.

Quick Update Because I Need A Wee

2005-06-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

I met Matt up town today on his lunch and bought him a *shh*macdonalds*shh*. I feel bad. I always do. But it was only a Happy Meal...

I also purchased a couple of DVDs and a gift for Matt's mom's birthday. So I am all sorted.

Rachael is out with me to the Haygate tonight, so that should be fun.

Maggie is off on a random bender today. Answers on a postcard please.

Cameraa!

2005-06-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

My new camera came today. I say camera.... it's not that great really. After all, it doesn't even have a flash! But I didn't expect much more for £20 (Okay, I did expect it to have a flash. I thought every camera came with a bloody flash... *grumble*) Oh well. It takes pictures, therefore it is fine.

Plus, it enables me to participate within the global obsession of whoring myself out on the internet! Hurrah! .... Okay, so the quality is a bit shite and it barely looks digital at all, but...but... Okay. I have no excuse for buying cheap tat. I am just a stingy bugger.

Cam Whore Pic No. 1

Oi! Fatties - No!

2005-06-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

We went to Tesco today and - for once - didn't manage to spend squillions and squillions. Hmm. I reckon they pump something through the ventilation system in that place, because it is unnatural to hold a desire to spend so damn much there.

Scabby-but-you-secretly-kinda-shop-there clothing chain Matalan aka Mataland aka Fataland, is seriously getting on my goat with its bizarre sizing. It's for the fatties. The fatties. And they stretch out the clothes on stupid hangers so that they're huuuuuuuge. No doubt to make the aforementioned fatties feel better about themselves. Not good for me though, as a stretched-out-on-stupid-hanger size 8 skirt falls down my hips. Grrr. Fataland : sort it out.

Bugger Off, Mr. Cruise

2005-06-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

Last night was a bit meh, but oh well - get over it I shall. Ray's going to come along to the Haygate on Wenesday with me, so that should be a bit fun. I can see her fitting in with that crowd - more so than I, at least.

Today is Manic Cleaning Day, as this house is a bombsite and needs to be sorted ASAP. Bleurgh. I blame Maggie (who is too cute for words)! It stinks of kittie downstairs as she's had to stay in this past week.

I am so fed up of god damn Tom Cruise that it is unbelievable. Why is he incapable of shutting the hell up? He is a pompous, arrogant, so-far-back-in-the-closet-he's-in-bloody-Narnia, publicity-seeking, Scientology-psychotic maniac. Someone needs to put a stop to this madness, promto.

Sick.

2005-06-25T15:40:00.000-07:00

This world is a horrible, horrible place at times. (Warning: disturbing article)

We all feel the anger and hatred towards paedophiles, but what about the thousands and thousands of those lost children, subjected to living in depraved prisons and unimaginable conditions? It is almost impossible to fathom that this actually happens.

Those who work on eliminating such cases are incredibly strong people. Reading that article almost made me cry.

I feel sick to my stomach.

One Of Those Days

2005-06-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

I can just feel that this is going to be one of those days.

It looks like I'm going to be alone tonight in Wolverhampton. So, yeah - that's going to be a barrel of laughs.

I always say "That's it. I'm not bothering with people anymore", yet I still seem to fall back into the trap. Why bother giving people advice and helping them out with their problems, when they just piss all over you anyway? Being popular and collecting friends is clearly more important to some people than being there for the ones who have been there for them.

Bah. So, that didn't start my day off very well, but then I got a note from the postwoman saying that my digital camera was at the Sorting Office. Oh thank god, I thought, at least that'll give me somthing to feel better about. But then we get to the bloody place and it is CLOSED. You have an hour to collect your package and then it closes at noon. What a god damn crock.

I can just see this day getting worse and worse.

Goodbye to New College

2005-06-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

LAST EXAM OVER!

Hurrah.

Although, at the same time:

*sigh*

I will miss college. I'll miss waiting on Trench Road for the old number 55 bus and praying that the driver won't be the one with BO so bad that it smells like ROTTING HELL. I'll miss trundling up the A Block stairs. I'll miss the surprising amount of fun that Thursday morning Film Studies was. I'll miss those people that I never really spoke to, but wish that I had. I'll miss the grafitti in the girls' toilets. Hell, I'll even miss the swearing schoolkids on the bus home.

Well, perhaps not the last one.

But I will miss you, New College Telford!

But now - onto pastures new, new windows opportunities, new chances to stay in bed until 2pm, etc etc.

And I Drive To Work Every Morning

2005-06-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

I've just returned from my Film Studies exam and I think (read: hope) it went okay. The questions were pretty horrible ('Explain how the shock of a shocking film can increase on second or third viewings as opposed to lessening...' Ick.), but I'm pretty sure that I managed to get enough opinions and infoormed-points in to blag a decent grade. Getting an A would be fantastic, but a B is what I think I will get. Not that I'm complaining.

So just the critical research exam tomorrow for Media Studies and then .... finished! No more A-Levels. No more college.

Will have to get a job - oh no!

It's not that I don't want to work - I don't mind work at all - I just don't particularly want to have to deal with the Cretins Of Telford. I'm pretty sure that spending hours upon hours locked in that god damn town centre will drive me to a) suicide or b) homicide. Only time will tell.

Come In, Come In

2005-06-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

So, I'm bored with livejournal already and decided that, since I already have a blog on blogspot, then I may as well make another one here too. The other one is more ranty, feminist-y and issues-based, whereas this one will be more personal. Easy.